Writer’s note: Below is the somewhat redacted recap for “Rocky Horror” I actually wrote while wasted that night. Anything in (parenthesis) or [square brackets] is my current, very hungover, edits because I wish to preserve the original vibe. And don’t worry, I’m 22, so it was all legal.

[“The] Rocky [Horror Picture Show”] was fucking awesome this year. On October 30th (29, it was past midnight when I wrote this), the annual tradition of [Juli] Dunn-sponsored homosexuality [occured]. This was my second year at the event, as I went in 2021, and this [year] was [even more] awesome. Directed by Kai Dygert, who played Dr. Frank [N. Furter], this long time cast member brought their last Rocky at Whitman College home with a resounding encore (I don’t know what I was trying to say here).

The cast really put their whole pussies (or whatever genitals they wanted) into this. I was very bisexual the whole night. As a senior, it felt good knowing like… some shit about the event. I didn’t know most of the audience lines and I had to quickly relearn the Time Warp dance, but like, my whole friend group [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY] were always the first to stand and [prompted] the [underclassmen] to join.

Oh fuck[,] I have hiccups now[,] shit (they got worse too). This movie, a cult classic from some fucking year (1975) about [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS], is a musical bop. I am listening to the soundtrack as I write this, cause it’s literally impossible to hear the lyrics during the show and I want to know the plot (not scientifically possible). 

I was also invited to the afterparty by Co-Director Quinn Miller, who played Riff-Raff, which also slapped hard. I haven’t been to a real party since August so like, it was great to be surrounded by gays in a[n] exclusive place so I could actually breath[e]. 

It’s like 1:30 AM[.] I am still drunk. I started drinking at 5:30 PM last yesterday (nice job drunk Samantha). This is how to celebrate Rocky. My friends and I ordered Dominos, that was hype. God I love Rocky. Sad to say it’s my last one, but alas we all have to graduate sometimes. Later whores (, respectfully).