We only got a couple of weeks of normalcy before Kathy Murray whipped out her mask mandate and slapped us across the face with it. That unprecedented time when everyone’s phones started ringing at once informed us of the tragic news that COVID-19 did not magically disappear when we asked it to.

This news came as a total surprise to everyone, since dropping mask mandates, removing the group size limits and allowing off-campus visitors all at once was a perfectly reasonable thing to do. The fact that all my professors enforced their own mask mandates should have been a red flag, but that’s my favorite color.

I know Whitman has a high vaccination rate, most of us are young and healthy and the three Libertarian students who complain loudly about liberalism wanted to breathe into people’s mouths (as is their right as American citizens), but maybe the decision wasn’t very poggers.

This is coupled with the fact that the restrictions were dropped right as spring break ended, where many people went out-of-country. The administration assumed this wouldn’t be a problem though, because everyone knows when you go through American Customs all of the COVID-19 gets scared of our guns and runs away.

COVID-19 numbers are at the highest they’ve ever been on campus and we are again graced with the presence of near-daily Peter Harvey emails. When he was silent we thought he died, having fulfilled his divine purpose, so I’m glad Kathy could pull out the Necronomicon in time for Easter.

There’s an important question that Whitman has to ask in the coming weeks and (hopefully not) next semester: Does Whitman want to be ableist and appease the rich white kids who just can’t stand wearing a bit of paper on their face, or not do that? It truly is a problem that would challenge history’s greatest thinkers like Plato, Nietzsche and, of course, Chrissy Chlapecka.