Senior Committee defends COVID-themed gifts for graduating seniors

Cade Schott, Journalist and hanging on by a goddamn thread

The senior committee, which is responsible for organizing the events meant to celebrate the culmination of the class of 2021’s time at Whitman, has made an interesting pivot in lieu of the usual in-person events that graduating seniors have experienced in the past. Instead of hosting a catered cocktail party, the committee has spent their entire budget on a slew of gifts that will likely end up in a landfill prior to most seniors landing a job. The gifts include a mousepad that says “Quarantine Queen” on it, a mask with stock images of other masks on it and a sticker that just says COVID-19 in a color scheme of burnt orange and cardinal red. 

Not only are the gifts unpalatable to the eyes of many, but they have been described as being somewhat insensitive. “First of all, the gifts are gross looking. Secondly, they also make light of a global pandemic,” said one senior. Another senior had this to say: “While it may say ‘Quarantine Queen’, this gift just screams ‘omg, how silly is it that we went to college at the same time as when a virus killed a whole mess of people, hahahaha lol’.” The senior concluded by saying, “also, pandemic or not, these things are fucking ugly.”

The Senior Committee responded by saying, “sorry if our final designs were perceived as tasteless by some, but when we finished our zoom call that consisted of 25 minutes of serious deliberation, we thought we landed on the best set of gifts.”

The committee said that after brainstorming many ideas, it came down to either the assortment of COVID knick knacks or giving each member of the Class of 2021 one of those horned hats with the fur that the one guy who stormed the capital was wearing. 

One senior, Lyon Rinkerck, put it best: “The Senior Committee should have just opted to give us all cash or Buffalo Wild Wings gift cards.”