Kathy Murray opens up about Cancun “business trip”: The sequel
April 1, 2021
In the wake of extreme backlash following The Wire’s exposé on Kathy Murray’s recent trip to Mexico, the Whitman College President has come forward with an “apology” for her actions. To read up on the story, see “Kathy Murray caught in Cancun with Ted Cruz.”
Within hours of its release, the story received over 64,000 views and caused a fistfight between Bookstore staff. By the weekend, it more than doubled, capping at 167,000 views.
The population of Whitman College is roughly 2,000 students and the entirety of Walla Walla County is roughly 60,000 people for reference. This was the most viewed article published by The Wire in over a decade, yet, sadly, the reporter has received no additional compensation for going above and beyond in her journalistic work. This is yet another travesty in an already controversial story.
So why did this article gain so much attention from the public? Was it just that funny? Sadly no. It seems there was some misunderstanding going on. Most of the views came from random people googling Ted Cruz, and most had no idea who Kathy Murray is. Despite not knowing anything about why she was in Cancun, citizens had very strong opinions about our dear President. Many believe that it was Murray’s fault for the Texas power outages and wrongly blamed her.
Frannie Tipton, a septuagenarian living in South Florida, commented, “Their actions represent how real they are. And for her to tell them to ‘F’ off, wow. Quite unprofessional. When trouble hits, they have the ability to just …. POOF…. Lack of interest in dignity and respect in their position. Way to lead by example. Your actions are reprehensible.”
Despite a wave of complaints, many sided with President Murray’s and Senator Cruz’s decision to go on vacation, referencing the recent power outages in Texas. Sean Dunn, a rando guy stated, “This is so unimportant! Those two people could not do anything about the weather or getting power restored! Why not cover how many people “Governor Cumo” killed with his brilliant plan to put pos covid with neg covid elderly people! And the other idiot gov. who followed suit!”
Yet another person supported Murray. Candice Joshua of Wisconsin asked “Why is it anyone’s business that they’re on vacation? Are the busybodies paying for it? If not — I agree with her last statement!” In fact, the busybodies did pay for it. Murray used her presidential stipend to fund the trip and spent close to $500,000 on whiskey, margaritas and a trampoline park in Cancun that is now part of Whitman College’s assets.
A man named Brian simply wanted more details about Kathy Murray’s trip, although he knew the exact hotel she was at which was kind of weird because the initial reporter breaking the story didn’t even know that information. Brian said in an interview, “I would like more information as to why Kathy P. Murray was at Ted Cruz’s Marriot Hotel and why she needed a break more than others?”
Pressured by the outpouring of complaints from the Whitman community and beyond, our inglorious leader has broken her silence to comment on the situation.
Murray said in a recent post on her Tumblr account, “As President of Whitman College, I take my duties very seriously. I am continually committed to transparency and I always aim to serve our commune to the best of my ability. I misspoke earlier and it was completely inappropriate of me to respond to the reporter the way that I did but to be fair, I was hungover from a tequila bender so can you blame me?”
President Murray stated that she received dozens of private messages from community members threatening to call for her immediate removal from her position as President as well as an increased flow of the general bullshit people at Whitman complain about. Said Murray, “I don’t think they understood that I’m literally already retiring, but getting hate mail is still awful and I’ve received truckloads now.”
To this, The Wire would like to formally apologize for its one-sided portrayal of the Cancun situation, jeopardizing President Murray’s safety, and also for sexualizing old women.