ASWC purchases a Bat Signal-like device alerting students to extra vaccine availability

Cade Schott, Journalist and member of the ASWC Executive Council 

Illustration by Kiara Paninos.

The 3.6 million dollar investment is meant to give students a fair shake at cutting the line in accordance with Washington State regulations and obtaining one of the extra vaccines at the Walla Walla County Fairgrounds by alerting students via a projection into the sky rather than a text from a friend who has been up since 7 a.m. volunteering. 

The installation of this vaccine bat signal has not come free of hiccups. The first time it was deployed so many students rushed to their cars that it caused a 14 car pile-up in the Jewett parking lot leaving three dead and five others injured. Additionally, the projection into the sky is significantly more effective at night or under a layer of cloud cover than it is in the daytime which raises issues considering the vaccine clinic closes at 5 p.m. 

When an anonymous member of ASWC was asked why they disobeyed the school’s wishes they responded by saying, “There are a lot of good points concerning why people shouldn’t try and jump the line to get the COVID-19 vaccine. However, many students are comfortable completely ignoring those and I honestly do not blame them.” The ASWC member concluded by saying, “Look, there is nothing I miss more as a result of this pandemic than the feeling of my shoes sticking to the floor of a frat basement while my two friends look for the bathroom because Jennifer got too drunk at the pregame and has to throw up, but it’s honestly not her fault because Travis totally ghosted her. We all just want to get back to our disgusting lives.”

With all that being said ASWC has once again perfectly allocated funds.