Signs Point to Roommate Being More Popular than You

Maude Lustig, Follow Me on Twitter

Bad news for you, it looks like your roommate is having a bit more luck making friends! Last weekend they went out with a new group of people, and it’s pretty clear that you weren’t invited.

Your roommate broke the news to you gently. “It might be good for us to branch out a bit more,” they said, checking their reflection in the mirror while you just laid in bed like a pile of turds. “But I’ll see you at the party tonight, okay?”

You didn’t know what party it was. No one ever tells you about parties. The only invitations you get are from the girls down the hall who are always making cookies. Their cookies are good, but they are loud and annoying. You don’t want to hang out with them.

Get used to it, this is your life now. The cookie girls are going to be your best friends and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s either that or you glom yourself onto the cool friends that your roommate makes. Of course, that will lead to nothing but tension between you and the roommate. Their new, cool friends will say things like, “Ugh, does your roommate have to come with us?” and “It sucks that you guys got stuck together.”

Well, it was fun while it lasted. A whole semester of having breakfast together and having lunch together and having dinner together may be gone, but it will never be forgotten. Just remember, you’re the only one that gets to listen to them breathing while they sleep. No one can take that away from you.