Maximum Taste, Minimum Dining Hall

Annie McFadden

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Illustration by Lya Hernandez.

With a food selection as diverse and unpretentious as that offered by Bon Appétit, the options for meals are seemingly endless. However, if you’re looking to cut down on the energy required to craft the perfect dining hall meal, these five tips can help you save time and get the most bang for your swipe.

The Field Roast Hack: Spice up a bland vegetarian meal with the simple addition of two ingredients. First acquire your plate of steaming hot field roast. While it’s still hot, fill a bowl about one-quarter of the way with peanut butter. Then walk both plates in the direction of the soft serve machine. Swiftly drop the roast into the trash while filling the rest of the bowl with ice cream.

The Salad Bar Hack: Everyone knows the importance of a well-balanced meal, but the bustle of the salad bar may be a deterrent. Try substituting protein-lacking lettuce leaves with vitamin-rich honey nut Cheerios, and swap out the fatty salad dressings with a low-fat dairy substitute, all the while avoiding the lengthy wait at the salad bar.

The Energy Hack: For one of those days when getting out of bed seems impossible, the right energy boosting beverage is necessary. For maximum caffeine intake per cup, try placing two green tea bags in your mug instead of one. Then fill the mug with a 1:1:1 ratio of coffee, maté, and blue energy drink. Top with a splash of hot cocoa. Later in the day, your constant need to leave class and rush to the bathroom will offer quick spurts of energy boost throughout the day.

The Line Hack: During the inevitable dinner rush, a lengthy line is sure to form for any food item. Opt out of line-waiting by feeding yourself with the food scraps left on the floor from lunch. A great quick dessert option to follow with is a handful of gum retrieved from under a booth.

The Time-Saving Hack: Tired of having to walk to get to every single meal? Here’s the ultimate food secret that Bon App workers don’t want you to know. To drastically reduce your time spent navigating the dining hall, all you have to do is lower your standards. Elect to snack on the remnants from that care package your mom sent you in October, sustain yourself with a few handfuls of gummy vitamins instead of balanced meals and remain in bed instead of socializing.

Happy Dining!

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