Wedding (Taco) Bells Ring for Senior

Molly Johanson

Earlier this week, senior Holly Johnson became the future Mrs. Bell when her significant other of the past three years proposed to her in the Taco Bell on N. 9th St. Correction: the proposal was made by Taco Bell on N. 9th St.

m (1 of 2)
Photo by Halley McCormick
Photo by Halley McCormick

“I’m so happy that I could celebrate with a combo meal. I always knew we were meant for each other from the day we met as first-years during a drunken Friday evening, but when he popped the question I was still so surprised,” said Johnson.
“It happened as I was grabbing some border sauce to put on my crunch wrap supreme. One of the sauce packets read ‘Will You Marry Me?’ Of course I said yes,” she said.
Senior Heather Roberts, who accompanied Johnson to the Taco Bell and was a mutual friend of the couple, had known about the proposal for weeks and was glad to have the secret finally out in the open.
“I’m really happy for them. I mean, they’re just so perfect for each other. They’ve been through everything together. Bad grades, difficult exams, moving off campus, her parents not getting her a car, spending summers apart, questionable ingredients and now getting her through her thesis. I know Taco Bell is going to treat my girl Holly right as her spouse,” said Roberts.
Upon learning the news of her engagement, Johnson’s other friends have reacted positively.
“Yeah, I can see it,” said senior Druple Owen.
“Makes sense,” said junior Sarah Green.
Senior Josh Davis has trepidations about the engagement.
“Can you really know what the future will hold when you’ve only known each other in a college setting? I mean, all Taco Bell wants to do is get his fourth meal on at 2 a.m. on weekends,” said Davis.
Johnson had this to say about her future spouse.
“Taco Bell has been nothing if not consistent. I don’t see our relationship changing once I graduate. Our lives may be loco, but we’ve had a lot of time to tacobout it, and I think I’m making the right choice,” she said.
Fortunately for Johnson, this marriage makes her an heiress to the Taco Bell fortune, worth untold billions.