Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire


Athletes run after balls with mouths open

A disturbing realization about athletes was made last week by The Pioneer editor-in-chief Patricia Vanderbilt. After sports editor Libby Arnosti seriously stubbed her big toe a few days earlier and was forced to stay at home to rest, Vanderbilt had taken over some of her editorial duties.

Vanderbilt reports having her Eureka moment while sorting through photos of Whitman athletes. An English major with a sharp taste for justice, Vanderbilt realized that athletes are explicitly encouraged to partake in behavior considered unacceptable in normal society.

“In our society, blatant and public ball-chasing is viewed as absolutely inappropriate. But my research seems to point to an obvious exception for athletes,” she said.

In all of the photos Vanderbilt observed, basketball, soccer and baseball players alike were exhibiting the same behavior. “The athletes were all running after balls with their mouths open,” said a shocked Vanderbildt.

After reflecting on the subject, Head Athletic Director Dean Snider also voiced his concern about the implications of this discovery.

“If people go to one sporting event and see athletes running after balls open-mouthed, they’re going to think it is socially acceptable behavior outside of an athletic environment,” said Snider. “That could be somewhat problematic.”

Whitman President George Bridges was confronted Saturday morning in his home by an irate Vanderbilt. Still wearing his Care Bears jammies, a befuddled Bridges agreed that there are undeniably unequal expectations for athletes and non-athletes.

“Well, no, Whitman does not endorse running after balls with open mouths . . . But with sports, of course there is an exception. Everybody loves to see some good action on the court,” he said.

Vanderbilt reports the interview as being “illuminating”.

As of late, athletes have been treated as exceptions to many rules, said Sexual Misconduct Prevention Coordinator Barbara Maxwell, who shared a tub of Cherry Garcia with Vanderbilt as they spoke together.

“Athletes are highly visible and influential figures in society, and here on campus. And here we are, publicly encouraging them to run after balls with their mouths open. What kind of message is that sending to the public?” said Maxwell.


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