What people will say they did over four-day
What they actually did over four-day
“I checked ‘Ulysses’ out from the library. Four days should be plenty of time to read it. I’m just so tired of the trash we’re reading in my senior sem.”
Got halfway through Dan Brown’s new book, “The Lost Symbol”; masturbated.
“My friends and I are planning to head out on Thursday night for a backpacking trip in the Olympics. We’ve got a really gnarly route planned, but we live in Tamarac, so this is pretty much what we live for.”
Watched four straight days of “LOST”; left permanent butt imprints in Dan’s couch; masturbated.
“I’m going to use these four days to really get a head start on my thesis. You know, I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I want to say, so it shouldn’t be too tough.”
Read Dan Brown’s “The Lost Symbol”; masturbated.
“My band, Skull Demon, is working on our first album. This break will really give us a chance to work on our sound.”
Smoked a lot of weed and watched “Planet Earth” in Erik’s older sister’s basement; masturbated.
“Master cleanse.”
Masturbated.
“I think over four-day I’m going to really explore Seattle. I’m pretty familiar with the city already: I’ve been to a few concerts and shit: but I want to see the more undiscovered parts of the city. I think I’ll check out some museums, thrift shops, restaurants: really see what the city has to offer.”
Slept in until 1 p.m. everyday; went to Pike Place once and bought a fish; watched “America’s Next Top Model” marathon and threw aforementioned fish at TV in a fit of rage when Courtney won; masturbated.
“I’m pretty sure my uncle’s friend is going to hook me up with an awesome mini-internship at a local NGO in Seattle. You know, giving back. Plus, it will look great on my resumé.”
Babysat for neighbors; hooked up with high school ex in the backseat of mom’s car before and after babysitting job; masturbated.
“Honestly, it’s only four days. I’ll probably just sit around and masturbate.”
Wrote remarkably original short story that you’ll see in the next New Yorker; lost five pounds powerwalking on treadmill while simultaneously writing thesis; found a girlfriend.
WCF meets for Musical Worship Mondays at 9 p.m. in Geiser Auditorium, Science Building. Because God is good.
