It’s Oscar time again! (My Daniel Radcliffe-style smile can’t even cover up how unexcited I am.)

While I wholeheartedly disagree with the Academy nearly 100 percent of the time and believe the Oscars are nothing but a laughable, luxurious series of cameos by washed-up actors whose best work was done maybe 20 years ago, below I’ll try to walk in the Academy voters’ shoes: and cut my IQ and taste by about half: and predict Sunday night’s Oscar winners in the major categories. (I haven’t seen any short films this year and don’t really care for sound mixing; sorry, folks.)

Best Foreign Language Film: “The White Ribbon”

Best Animated Feature: “Up”

Best Documentary Feature: “Burma VJ”

Best Original Screenplay: “Inglourious Basterds”

Best Adapted Screenplay: “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”

Best Supporting Actor: Cristoph Waltz (“Inglourious Basterds”)

Best Supporting Actress: Mo’Nique (“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”)

Best Actor: Jeff Bridges (“Crazy Heart”)

Best Actress: Sandra Bullock (The Blind Side)

Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow (“The Hurt Locker”)

Best Picture: “Avatar”

I must admit that I liked a surprising amount of films this year that got Oscar nods, including “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire,” “The Hurt Locker” and “In the Loop.” Now, whether they win any is another story. In a future column, I’ll unveil the films, actors and actresses that, in an ideal world, would have been nominated by the Academy.