First off, let’s clarify: This article (which, admittedly, was planned to come out on Valentine’s Day) in no way presupposes a connection between being single and being miserable. In fact, more than likely, between schoolwork, planning for study abroad and what have you, all you single people are probably grateful to be relinquished of the potential stress that can emanate from the big V-Day. But in case you are one of those unfortunate souls that finds yourself a little heartbroken, lonely or annoyed on Valentine’s Day, take these steps to remedy your February 14 vexation.

1.) Start by reading some Camus, Kafka and Sartre to lighten the mood.

2.) Troll Yahoo! Answers to further your confidence in humanity.

3.) Valentine Craft Party with the besties!*
*Glitter and lots of love REQUIRED.

4.) Order some pizza (Big Cheese, Sweet Basil, Olive, Domino’s, etc.). LOTS of pizza equals LOTS of fun.

5.) Have a party because you ordered too much pizza.

6.) Make people pay for their pizza and get that money (if you don’t have love, at least you can have money) OR spread the Valentine’s Day love and give the people their free pizza (that you could easily have finished alone).

7.) Go to the sauna in the Sherwood Athletic Center.

8.) Go to Walmart! (ADVENTURES AWAIT YOU.)

9.) Go to the library and rent a movie! (“The Exorcist,” “Love Actually,”  “Apocalypse Now,” “Sleepless in Seattle,” “The Grudge,” “Brokeback Mountain,” “Troll 3,” “Pretty Woman,” “The Fly,” “Ghost”)

10.) Do your laundry.

11.) Do your homework.

12.) Go to Pioneer Park and take a stroll, hang with some birds, get up on the wagon sculpture and feel powerful.

13.) Contemplate what Beyoncé is doing right now.

14.) Let go of your jealousy of Beyoncé.

15.) Go for a run!

16.) Have some chocolate/candy from Bright’s or get some froyo at Peach & Pear.

17.) Put on comfy socks.

18.) Go to sleep.

19.) Wake up to a day that isn’t Valentine’s Day!

20.) MOST IMPORTANTLY: Remember how lucky you are to have the friends you have. Valentine’s Day is the one day in a year that stresses the importance of “courtly love,” but remember that it’s just ONE day out of the ENTIRE year. More to the point, is your “courtly love” going to make you laugh when you’re having a panic attack two days into finals? Maybe. But will your friends be there, forcing you to listen to “Boyfriend” on repeat in a library study room, coaxing a good giggle out of you? Most certainly.