This week we’ve found renewed devotion for that lovable, car dancing, white gloved wonder MJ. At times we forget his majesty, but every few weeks “Man In The Mirror” or “Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough” doth grace our iPods. We find ourselves completing more squats and belly-busters than we ever thought possible. Michael takes us to new levels. Which reminds us: it’s been far too long since we’ve stripped and beat it in the 4West bathroom. Jewett: Beware.
Some trashy tabs claim Michael only has a few months to live. The defamed dancer now wears a mask over his face in public. But don’t be deluded by this lecherous literature. As you can check out at michaeljackson.com, the King Of Pop has London shows booked through 2010. You might also want to check out Michael’s beautiful monologue at the end of his Free Willy ballad.
In other news, spring break is over and there are only five weeks left of classes. Live it up seniors. But not by making April Fool’s bomb threats, you meatheads.
In other salacious news, a group of lucky econ students took a tour of the regional big house. Scruffy ginger juniors were cat-called by irate and lusty convicts. One offender chimed, “Bring me the boy!” Many students found the experience disturbing. Others, however, found it surprisingly erotic. “A big house bufu is my ultimate fantasy,” stated one junior Whitman tennis player.
In related news, my comrade and I have spent this Saturday afternoon watching Marlon Brando clips on YouTube. This inevitably led us to a few clips from the “MUST BE SHOWN” (London Evening Standard – United Kingdom) film, “Last Tango In Paris.” Apparently everyone who wasn’t interested in burning the film jizzed their pretentious pants over it. My Italian cinema teacher loved it. My aunt called it her favorite movie. We have one penetrating question: Why butter bufu? Indeed, the concept of two strangers carrying out a love affair in an abandoned apartment is erotic. But why did Brando and director Bernardo Bertolucci insist on an anal rape scene? Apparently, it wasn’t even in the script. Imagine: You are nineteen-year-old Maria Schneider. You have landed your dream role. The last few naked weeks with ripened Hollywood icon Marlon Brando have gone exceedingly well. And then you arrive at work one day to learn your character is – SURPRISE! – scheduled to be backdoor buttered on a bare hardwood floor. And how about the part where MB tells MS that he wants her to have sex with a pig? We understand kinky sex in the name of art, but this just seems overly indulgent.
In final news: We would like to congratulate Nadim on his landslide win. We knew you could do it.
Love,
C&T
