Whitman Wire

Local turkey busy prepping for death

Local turkey busy prepping for death

Annelise Ellingboe, Vegetarian

November 21, 2019

After meeting with his lawyers this week to finalize his will, local turkey Albert Gobbleneck met me at a local diner to discuss pre-Thanksgiving stressors. “Ugh, this semester is killing me,” he said, while rummaging through his backpack for his vape pen. “Sorry. I’m just so stressed out. I have ...

I Will Cut Your Hair For Free

Jack Swain, staff writer

April 21, 2016

  I walked along the river. The sun was out, and it sparkled across the surface of the water. Two old men exchanged a glance through the shop window. She ran the needle again and again through the deep, red fabric. Blowing softly in the breeze. The owls are in cahoots. The boys t...

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