Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Local man wants to settle down and get divorced

Trevor Lewis April 9, 2015

In these uncertain times of almost 50% of marriages ending in death, it can be easy for some to lose faith in the sanctity of divorce. Luckily, hope springs eternal. This is especially the case for local...

Suns March nip-slip: road to naked mile commences

Sun’s March nip-slip: road to naked mile commences

Callie Brown March 12, 2015

Illustration by Catalina Burch. The sun has once again blessed us with its presence, and like many before us, we have all begun worshipping the sun gods. As Whitties, this means that everyone has already...

Poems with Rendrick Heeson

Reed Hendrickson November 13, 2014

DAILY activities In the middle of the year of the middle age, Of a large bee decided it was his destiny to sit down upon that tree The tree wanted to see what the bee would do so he took a chance...

Air travel offers unexpected pleasures

Joseph Wood November 6, 2014

I miss flying. Being from Seattle, I always drive to Walla Walla, and so my time in the sky has been severely diminished. I can't help but feel nostalgic for an airplane ride. Once you get past security,...

Former Shell CEO to be new Whitman prez

Joseph Wood October 30, 2014

In a controversial announcement, Whitman College announced that Ben van Beurden, the Dutch CEO of Shell Oil Company, will be the next president of the college. The end of the presidential search has come...

The Backpage pontificates

Kyle Seasly October 30, 2014

Dear Backpage, I feel like a dolphin caught in a six-pack ring. Thank Oceanus I have you guys. Anyway, this girl I'm into acts like I don't even exist. We were partners in Encounters when we discussed...

Ultimate Frisbee: A serious sport

Reed Hendrickson October 23, 2014

The one aspect this country of America really holds above everything else is sports. That's why NASCAR has 75 million fans and no one watches soccer. Football has been America's love since day one except...

Townies destabilize vast swaths of Beta’s lands

Trevor Lewis October 23, 2014

It has been only three months since militant townies first started making an appearance in Beta's sacred lands. However, since that time and because of some lightning-fast tactical raids, the townies have...

National Parks makeover: American edition

Joseph Wood October 16, 2014

"Experience Your America" is the slogan of the National Park Service.  By that, they mean rolling hills, the purple hues of sunsets, pristine forests, old growth trees and the crisp bite in the air. In...

Armed with tank, board of trustees attacks protestors

Kyle Seasly October 16, 2014

Under cover of darkness, on the bottom floor of a dank and poorly lit parking structure, I met a man who referred to himself only as "Cleveland Steamer." He was an old friend and occasional informant who...

Whitman College wins award for economic homogeny

Trevor Lewis September 25, 2014

When I discovered Whitman College was ranked first in economic homogeneity out of 91 excellent schools, I was so overcome with elation that I almost spilled cognac all over my ocelot fur robe (that's...

Illustration by Marlee Raible

Macklemore’s Coming!!!!!

Tristan Gavin April 18, 2013

After Allen Stone came to campus, students were left with a lot of questions about the Whitman Events Board (WEB). "Why are we wasting money on ‘blue-eyed soul singers'? Isn't that racist?" asked...

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