Whitman Wire

Be proud of your one-night stands

Be proud of your one-night stands

Crystal & Chevy

March 12, 2015

Illustration by Sophie Cooper-Ellis. It's Friday night, and that babe that you saw in the climbing gym is standing across from you at the party, givin' you the bedroom eyes. All of the sudden, the beat drops and "Partition" hits the room. Which means you hit the dance floor. Before you know it, tha...

‘I’m doing fine,’ Clearly Drunk, Non-Winning Mr. Whitman Candidate Reports into a Banana Peel

Illustration by Asa Mease

Matt Raymond

February 21, 2013

Every November, Whitman College puts on one of its most widely-attended campus events––a not-so-real beauty pageant, known fondly as Mr. Whitman, in which eight senior men celebrate the completion of a three month-long fundraising drive for a charity chosen by a Whitman student. The eight contestants are judged on a combination of their fundraising ...

Pio Columnist Confesses Publicly That He Joined Staff Just to Make a Joke About Jenkem

Matt Raymond

January 24, 2013

In a truly disgusting public interview with Whitman professor Chopra Winfrey, Pioneer humor and sports writer Tristan Gavin confessed freely that his reason for joining the staff of Whitman's newspaper was to "try to make a joke about jenkem." Gavin admitted that he "discovered" jenkem, a hallucinogenic i...

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