It has been only three months since militant townies first started making an appearance in Beta’s sacred lands. However, since that time and because of some lightning-fast tactical raids, the townies have managed to gain control of the gravel pit, the rope swing and Kyle Seasly’s guitar. Now, I know what many of you reading at home must be thinking: “Beta is a barren, worthless wasteland. Why should we care?” I was of a similar opinion until I was informed that Beta is one of the leading exporters of PBR, American Spirits, cynicism and many other raw materials upon which Whitman society is built. I traveled to this war-torn region of Whitman Campus on a drunken bender last weekend to analyze the geopolitical landscape further.

With the conclusion of the 2014 fall recruitment cycle, all Greek life institutions will be winding down from a flurry of activities and welcoming new members to their ranks. But members of the Beta Theta...

A number of off-campus break-ins occurred late Sunday night. The incidents have left students cautious and shaken.

What a local squirrel thinks about student life