Do you miss your mom when you’re at Whitman? Or do you just wish you had a mom at school? Someone who was here to answer your questions and offer you advice? Are there some questions you just can’t ask her?

Well that’s where we come in. The Wire is now bringing you an advice column of your very own — “Dear Mom.” We’ll be your mom-away-from-mom-but-less-maternal. We’re here to support you through all the sticky parts of life (especially life at Whitman) with advice that may or not be “proper” but will definitely be what you need to hear. We’re saged, sassy, and sympathetic in all the right ways, and above all we want to help. So just ask.

If you want to write in and ask us for help navigating tricky roommates/housemates, what to major in, a failing friendship, not owning Birkenstocks, literally anything, send us an email at [email protected]. If you want it to be anonymous, use sendemail.org to send it without your email attached! If you choose to send it with your name, know we will never reveal your identity as anyone other than “Weeping in Wichita” or an equally endearing nickname.

To kick off the column, we’ve answered some questions below that we just know you were waiting to ask:

Q: What sets Dear Mom apart from the other advice columns out there?

A: We are tailored to you as Whitman students—we’ve eaten in your dining halls, we’ve lived in your dorm rooms. We’ve endured the same Encounters classes as you. We’ve had unrequited crushes on our scramble mates, too.

Q: Do you go by “Mom” all the time? When I see you on campus, can I call you mom?

A: Not quite. But yes, you can.

Q: Can I really ask you anything?

A: Anything! Anything at all! We’ll use discretion when printing (some things aren’t fit for the eyes of all of our readers), but you can ask us anything!

Q: Has there ever been an advice column with The Wire before?

A: No! Whitman’s newspaper has never had an advice column, under any name. We are the first. The only. The premier. The flagship. Get ready.

To getcha hooked on Dear Mom, here’s the question we’ll be answering next week—tune in then for the advice!

        Dear Mom,

        Last weekend, I hooked up with someone from my Encounters class at the 80s dance. It was really chill, but now I think I have feelings for them. I’m trying to play it cool, since I’m worried they’re not into it—they don’t sit by me in class any more, and it’s been pretty awkward since that night. What should I do?

        Jilted in Jewett