Get sexually adventurous this summer using U.S. military policy

Crystal & Chevy

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It is spring! Many of us may be looking around after a season of cold, quiet solitude, and for the first time in a while, the immense natural beauty is so abundant on campus. And as a wise man once said, “Everybody looks better in a sun dress.”

After the initial shock of spring comes the hot heat of summer. Many of you, with partners, may be starting to consider what to do when you leave the manicured lawns of Whitman College. Do you stay together? Do you split up? How do you navigate the months apart that we students call “summer”?

Well, we would like to introduce an option –– one we took from the military. While Don’t Ask Don’t Tell may have failed miserably for the Armed Forces, it provides a stellar relationship model. We suggest that this summer, instead of attempting to navigate a painful ultimatum, you and your partner try having your separate flings and meeting new people. However, don’t tell your partner about these new interests, and your partner shouldn’t ask.

If this arrangement sounds like something that you might be interested in for the summer, talk to your partner about using it before the semester ends in order to maintain an overall healthy relationship. Remember to actually discuss it, otherwise it is not a mutual agreement. Without any communication, it is just inappropriate and unjust to your partner. In addition, make sure you discuss it before you part ways, for it is hard to backtrack once you have started.

Our current relationship model is based off the idea that the key to success is always 100 percent honesty. But honestly, that may not always be the case! While we certainly advocate for communication (and talking to your partner about this is important), some things are better left unsaid in order to sustain a healthy relationship. Hearing about your significant other’s random sexual encounter with a person they met at the bar last night will probably be hurtful. DADT may permit both of you to have your cake and eat it too.

DADT allows you to avoid being crippled by sexual frustration while your partner is hundreds of miles away, and it simultaneously helps to maintain a relationship that is important to the both of you. However, the key part of this strategy (and perhaps the most difficult) is the “Don’t Ask” part. This entire model breaks down when one of you attempts to inquire about the other’s activities. If one of you does, gently remind them about the previously agreed-upon mode of conduct.

It’s tempting, we know, but we bet that you don’t want to know the answer and you don’t want to tell it yourself. If, when you return to campus, you and your partner have a drunken night of revelations, chances are it will not be the worst thing to ever happen. But at the very least, leave the confessions for when you are successfully and strongly reunited.

If this plan is not the right path for you and your partner, that is fine. We just want to offer it as an option and bring it onto your radar.