A couple of weeks ago this paper had a feature section on sex, with two articles on the pros and cons of casual sex. For this, my last column, I would like to weigh in on that discussion. Now, being a couple of years older than most of you I have had more time from which to sample … the, uh … offerings of life. However, also having been raised Catholic (and once a Catholic, I don’t care what Bill Maher says, you may leave the shame, but it never leaves you) the… sampling of those … offerings was rarely an uncomplicated act.

So while I do proscribe to the right of women to explore their sexual identity with the same freedom that men have traditionally been allowed, I wonder if somehow my generation has shot ourselves in the foot with our current interpretation of “sexual exploration.” I’m specifically addressing the new idea of “hook up” culture.

We hear that phrase all the time, usually tossed off casually, “oh yeah, and last night I hooked up with so and so … whatever.” Now maybe I am leg-shackled by Catholic guilt and maybe I do have a rather obsessive issue with germs, but shouldn’t physical communication be a little more … consequential than that, for both males and females?

But since, for better or worse, males typically haven’t been socialized to place the same level of importance on physical intimacy that females have, and extensive empirical evidence (and by evidence I mean the countless phone calls from wide variety of upset female friends I have received the day after “hooking up” that always start with “why doesn’t he call/like/love me”) cites that in “casual” situations females are typically left holding the emotional (and sometimes fetal) bag.

Now I am not saying that women cannot crave or enjoy the pure physical release that “hooking up” can sometimes provide, though it usually doesn’t because “hooking up” is typically an occurrence that happens under the influence and despite the plethora of problems that go along with making such decisions while in an altered state — drunk sex is RARELY good sex.

I am also not saying that women should be held to different societal standards and be forced to endure unpleasant labels should they pursue physical relationships in a manner men have co-opted as the sole purview of the masculine.

What I am saying that having lived a bit of that experience and having had (and currently having) female friends who are exploring this particular avenue — it doesn’t seem to be working. If anything “hook up” culture has made it easier for certain males to embrace their most problematic socially constructed instincts and left a lot of females even more confused.

Ladies, this does not mean we have to return to the days of “marriage first” or scarlet letters but maybe we should treat acts of intimacy, that have the ability to reek havoc on both our physical and emotional state, less casually. Rarely is the answer to a pressing social issue to be more thoughtless and that is exactly what “hook up” culture translates as — thoughtless (again, usually inebriated) acts of physical intimacy.

Men, I recognize that you also aren’t always the “enemy” in this battle. I know a lot of males who regard this behavior as highly problematic and refuse to partake in the spoils of this particular facet of post-modernism. Men who find the meaning of their own sexual journey complicated by the inherent thoughtlessness of “hook up” culture.

The semi-unconscious, over-arching theme of my columns this semester has been mindfulness, what it really means to consider situations we find ourselves in and the larger implications of those circumstances and our reactions to them. I have yet to discover a situation in which less thoughtfulness helps, and sex and intimacy are no exception.

The end goal of physical intimacy does not have to be “happily ever after” or even a relationship, but shouldn’t something that is so communicative, that has the ability to touch us on so many levels, that can be so damn great be held in just a little bit more regard than a “hook up?” Shouldn’t we also be holding each other in a little more regard too? Shouldn’t we regard our fellow humans (and ourselves!) as something more than just receptacles for hormonal release?

Congratulations fellow seniors — go forth and be mindful. Everyone else, revel in your summer. Thanks for reading.