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Drinks for the Majors


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Hello Majors!

It was a delight to put together this drink list.  I highly suggest trying each of these drinks (not all at the same time!)  Drink your way through the arts, the humanities, the sciences, and more! Each drink was carefully selected and crafted for as much accuracy as humanly possible.

Drink responsibly and joyfully!

Anthony

Anthropology: The Commonwealth

Anthropology.  The study of human societies and their development.  What better drink for you than one that includes an ingredient from each continent/region of the Earth?  You’ll love The Commonwealth, despite the fact that the bartender might glower at you for ordering a cocktail that has a whopping 71 ingredients!  Here’s to world peace!

 

Art: Moonshine

Art, what can I say?  You want your alcohol straight up so you can get back to your work of reflecting the universe through your medium.  Moonshine, it’s quick, easy, and you can brew it in your studio. Raise a glass to your art and your existential suffering!

 

Art History and Visual Culture Studies: Manhattan

Art History and Vis Culture.  A pillar of American ideals. You’re kind of like the New York City of majors.  The Manhattan matches the complex individual you are: a whiskey-based drink garnished with a Maraschino cherry!  That’s a flavorscape that not many can handle. Here’s to you, the next critics and scholars of art!

 

Asian and Middle Eastern Studies: Cheralle

Asian and Middle Eastern Studies, I was hard-pressed to find a drink that wasn’t a Sake bomb.  I didn’t want to do what one might expect here. After quite a few trips deep into the Internet, I found Cheralle, a beautiful cocktail that includes Lychee juice, vodka, and lemongrass.  Here’s to you!

 

Astronomy: Black Velvet

Oh, Astronomy.  You sweet angels of space.  I found the exact drink that encompasses the vast darkness of space and the sparkly, sweet glow of the stars.  Sure, it’s half brut champagne and half beer (a nice, dark stout,) but I’m sure that I’ve described it accurately after never having tried it.  Here’s to looking towards the stars!

 

Biochemistry, Biophysics, and Molecular Biology: Wahh Quantum Sensations

BBMB, don’t I have the thing for you!  I have no idea what you actually do as BBMB majors other than what I like to call “science-y stuff,” but I have something delightful for you.  Available only in Europe, Wahh Quantum Sensations is a sprayable alcohol mist that tastes like a fine mist of vodka. Because that’s exactly what it is!  Here’s to you, the scientists of the now and the future!

 

Biology: Fish House Punch

Dearest Biology, I think you’re great.  You have some of the grossest assignments in my opinion.  I mean, cutting open animals or dealing with snakes that literally shed their skin?!  Jeepers, I don’t know how you do that. I chose a drink that I saw as most likely to accidentally evolve into new life: the Fish House Punch.  Happy drinking!

 

Chemistry: The Ramos Gin Fizz

Hey Chemistry!  When I think of you, I absolutely don’t think of a mad scientist’s lab, with beakers of various potion boiling over.  Okay, you caught me. That’s exactly what I think of. So, I chose the drink that’s most like a beaker of some sort of beaker of chemicals that would give you superpowers!  Here’s to the graduated cylinder! Soon enough, you’ll be just like that cylinder.

 

Classics & Classical Studies: Mead

Classics, I have to come clean.  I spent so much time looking to see if there was something like the Dead Sea Scrolls of wine or beer, just so that I’d be suggesting that you drink literally the oldest drink in the solar system.  Alas, I couldn’t find anything like that, so I gave you the drink that I could imagine was most like the oldest drink in the universe. Here’s to the dead languages!

 

Computer Science: Whiskey, neat

Oh, Computer Science.  You don’t have time to mess around with your drink.  You want the quickest way to the booze cruise! Drink quick and then get back to those ones and zeros!  01000100 01110010 01101001 01101110 01101011 00100000 01110101 01110000!

 

Economics: LL Cool J

Economics, you’ve got a slightly strange one.  You’ll not find this drink on any menu, as it’s one that one of your own came up with.  If you can figure out which Economics major uses this drink when he wants to get ‘majorly shmacked.’  That’s right, you guessed it, this drink is a combination of whipped cream-flavored vodka and Fanta! May your numbers be crunched easily and your calculators never be full of corroded batteries!

 

English: Death in the Afternoon

English, you’ve captivated my heart.  You truly are an ace in the hole. For you, I’ve reserved a delicious drink containing absinthe and champagne.  Invented by Hemingway himself, this drink is reported to be decadent and strong. Here’s to you, English majors.  Go out and prove to the world that our major is not ‘useless.’ Show those naysayers just how powerful we are!

 

Environmental Humanities: The grittiest IPA you can find

Environmental Humanities, here’s to you.  You are great people, with hearts of gold and dirt spilling out of every pocket you’ve got.  I chose the grittiest IPA you can find because you’d probably love something that resembles river water closely.  You drink what you know, right? More seriously, I’d bet you’d be able to identify each and every plant that was used to make that beer.  Drink up, Environmental Humanities! May your futures be bright and be green!

 

Environmental Studies: The Beet Royale

Wonderful, wonderful Environmental Studies.  You are the backbone of this ecosystem. For you, I found a drink that encompasses your passion: the Earth.  The Beet Royale includes rose-geranium-infused beet juice, lemon juice, prosecco, and gin. Have this drink and just ponder the good you’ll do for world with your knowledge!  Here’s to you, the saviors of the Earth.

 

Film and Media Studies: Martini, stirred not shaken

Film and Media Studies, you truly are the backbone the film industry in Walla Walla and, soon, the world!  Your drink is a coy take on a classic featured on your passion: the silver screen. Of course, there are literally thousands of drinks had in movies around the world, but yours screams irony, a twinkle in your eye, and a nearly otherworldly ability to edit your indie-inspired filmscapes.  May your films be red carpet successes and may your actors not be method.

 

French: Shafer Vineyards Cabernet Sauvignon Hillside Select

French, you lovely major, you are probably not snooty about wine.  I don’t know you very well, but I feel as if I’m projecting something that the country of France does onto you merely because you study the language of that country.  That being said! I gave you the most expensive bottle of wine from Shafer Vineyards, a winery in California. I guess California does Sauvignon better–yes, I said it!  Anyway, raise your very expensive glass! À votre santé!

 

Gender Studies: The Camp Grenada

Gender Studies, I feel like you get a bad rap.  Y’all are doing great work and, if we’re honest, super emotionally exhausting work.  For you, I found a drink that is delicious, delightful, and described as ‘ultra bitter,’ just as bitter as you when you have to explain to some rando that gender is on a spectrum.  Here’s to you, Gender Studies!

 

Geology: The Flaming Volcano

Oh, Geology.  Y’all are a fan favorite for sure.  It’s so nice that all the hippies convene in one department.  Do you have big parties where you get together and lick rocks?  What’s your favorite kind of silt? The drink I found for you is a delightful rum-based drink that is described as ‘multi-user.’  Kind of like the Geology department, no? Here’s to you, Geology. You rock!

 

German Studies: Herrengedeck

German!  It’s been so long.  How have you been? Hopefully not the wurst?  Oh, how we laugh.  For you, I found a delicious drink combination: a shot of Korn and a beer!  Why take your alcohols separately? Get your hard alcohol and your wheat at the same time!  Prost!

 

History: The Brass Monkey

History, you are martyrs.  Truly. I don’t know how you have the mental tenacity to handle learning about history.  I mean, that’s so much reading.  So much.  It’s an impressive thing, friends.  For your drink, I found a beverage named after H. E. Rasske, a spy who worked during World War II.  More history: this drink became more popular when the Beastie Boys released a song by the same name.  Here’s to History. May we never repeat it!

 

Mathematics: Screwdriver

Math, you’re metal as h*ck.  You have to keep a solid GPA or you’ll get kicked out, you have the capacity to focus on numbers and letters in an equation at the same time, and you somehow know how to work the most advanced TI calculators (which are essentially spaceships?!)  Your drink is a classic: the Screwdriver. You like a kick to your life, so why not get it from the tanginess of orange juice and the bitter stab of vodka? Raise a glass for Math, the biggest sweetie pi at Whitman!

 

Music: Paloma

Music!  You wonders of five lines.  Seeing your performances is such a treat.  There’s such a tenacity in the way you work.  Does the language department know how many languages are flowing through the Music department at one time?  Extremely impressive! For your drink, I tried to encompass a Music major: sweet, the right amount of bitter, and a good kick.  Your drink is the Paloma: grapefruit soda and tequila. May your diaphragms be full of air and your whistle tones be clear as mountain streams!

 

Philosophy: Negroni

Philosophy, I wonder how you do it pretty frequently.  I mean, existential crisis must be a daily thing for you.  Thank you for doing the work you do. The deep questioning and thinking that goes on in that department is enough to send magnitude-10 rumblings through campus.  I chose the Negroni for your drink, because it’s the drink that I imagine Plato ordering if Plato were alive today (and personal theory: he would wear dark, circular sunglasses all the time, right?)  Cheers, Philosophy!

 

Physics: Champagne Jello Shots

Hey, Physics.  Y’all are so fun!  You build instruments, play with vibrations, and understand how the universe is.  I chose a drink that would be the most fun for you to play with–and maybe even learn from?  Enjoy poking your cubes of alcohol while thinking about the 4th dimensional tesseracts. You deserve it!  Here’s to Physics!

 

Politics: Dirty Shirley Temple

Politics, whoa.  I can’t believe you literally are the political leaders of the future.  I chose a drink that encompasses your kindness, your intellect, and your ability to absolutely decimate anyone in a debate.  The Dirty Shirley is just like you: sweet and packing a serious punch.  Here’s to you, Politics.  May your speeches be full of sincerity and your campaigns be scandal-free!

 

Psychology: Long Island Iced Tea

Oh, Psychology.  You do such great work, I presume.  I have to honest, I don’t trust you very much because you know too much about the mechanics of my brain.  How many times have you diagnosed me without me knowing? I fear and respect you greatly. I chose your drink because Long Island Iced Teas make my brain feel when I hear about the things you learn.  Here’s to you, Psychology. You are the brains are the future!

 

Race and Ethnic Studies: Steeped Snake Wine

Race and Ethnic Studies, you wonders!  Your drink is based on my conception of you: badass, interdisciplinary students who know so many things.  That’s right, your drink is a poisonous snake steeped in rice wine for months. It’s so metal that you can only have a few shots at a time.  Here’s to you, Race and Ethnic Studies. You are the world!

 

Religion: The Corpse Reviver

Religion, I have to be honest.  I wish I had ended up taking more classes with you.  Your field of study is quite interesting and almost a type of anthropology if you think about it.  Your drink was chosen based off of the theme of revival, as you might have gleaned. It’s supposedly a hangover cure, so there’s that too!  Here’s to you, Religion. May your religious texts be easily translatable and your studies be holy!

 

Rhetoric Studies: The Last Word

Rhetoric, you’re a star.  I’m sure you’ve been reading through this and learning so many things based on what words and phrases I’ve been using.  I’m only a little frightened of you. But! Your drink is delightful. It’s described as a little sour, a little sweet, and a little pungent.  Kind of like rhetoric, right? To you, Rhetoric. Your words are carefully selected and powerful!

 

Sociology: Fireball Hot Chocolate

Sociology, I don’t think I could’ve picked your drink better.  You’re sweet and punchy, just like this drink. Is there anything better than the cinnamon-y, chocolate-y love that is a Fireball Hot Chocolate on a winter evening?  Well, same for Sociology. Nothing warms my heart like hearing about how your work is changing the world. To your health, Sociology!

 

Spanish: Tinto de Verano

Spanish!  I bet you expected sangria!  What a classic choice. But! I wanted to mix it up for you.  Tinto de Verano is a delightful combo of chilled wine and lemonade.  A perfect drink for your warm summer evenings full of guitar and conversation.  May your declensions be accurate and your conjugations be swift! ¡Salud!

 

Theatre: Lyonade

Theatre.  Light of my life.  Fire of my loins. I gave you possibly the best drink ever invented.  John Lyon’s family gives us this drink: limeade, vodka, and fresh mint.  A delightful beverage for those evenings pontificating on the meaning of life, art, and theatre.  Here’s to you. May you bring important art to the world and teach love by example. Cheers!

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Drinks for the Majors