“I’m so much better than everyone,” I think as I sit down and whip out my 11 inch…

iPad. 

Just thinking of my perfect calligraphy headers at the top of the page really gets me going.

Look at these plebeians with their pen and paper. How inefficient. What’s the point of taking notes if not for aesthetics? Destructive too. I guess we don’t care about saving the planet anymore, wasting all that paper. Killing trees. Tsk Tsk. 

I sit proudly at my desk, and I seamlessly transition from notetaking to texting, to Pinterest, back to texting, and oh look, I just ordered new shoes. Multitasking is my superpower.

They just mentioned something about the 13th century. I should write that down, but should I highlight in pink or green? Ugh, definitely pink. But not that tacky bright pink, more of a soft, rose mauve to capture the essence of medieval vibes. I also really need to change this font; it’s not giving me Lancelot whatsoever.

I just sent an email. 

I just logged hour 15,224 on Stardew Valley. 

I just read an entire NYT article. I’m so efficient. 

Low battery?! How could this be? It’s been an hour since I fully charged this thing! How am I supposed to eat lunch now? Sitting in silence with my own thoughts? That’s barbaric. Thank goodness for my iPhone, but the eye strain will be insufferable. 

What did I learn in class today? Something about medieval literature, I think? But really, the important takeaway is that my new shoes are arriving on Wednesday.