Okay, so you’re not literally renaming a building on campus—that probably requires large sums of money and bribery. This approach costs no money and takes only guts, creativity and a little bit of time. We’re talking about revamping Google Maps around Whitman College baby because — no offense — Whitman’s internet presence is lacking in pizazz and that really should change.  

The first and most crucial step in renaming a campus building is picking a name. It doesn’t even have to be a building per se, or your own name, just any location you can pinpoint that deserves a title. Rachel’s Play Place, a recent establishment on Whitman Campus, is one of my favorite places because I named it after me. 

Then, in Google Maps, click on a location, say Kathy Murray’s House, Harper Joy or hell, even Mem, and select the three horizontal lines in the upper left corner.

This will take you to a screen where you can change some settings. Pay very close attention. Scroll down to the bottom of the little tab thingie and you should see an option that says “Add a Missing Place.” Click that and let the fun continue. 

Here is where you will add the name that you’ve selected. You can also categorize your location, a business, waterpark, place of worship, driving school or tobacco shop. 

Next, press ‘update location on map.’ You can add a phone number, website and upload photos of the location you’ve created. I’m a big proponent of uploading memes or cursed images with no context, but it’s your location, make it personal, make it yours. 

Finally, press “send” at the bottom of the page and wait. Patience is the key; it may take some time, weeks even, but Google will eventually send you a verification email. Btw, Google does record your email address, just letting y’all know beforehand. 

Now, go out and do with this information what you will. For legal purposes, this is a joke and The Wire will not be held responsible for any internet shenanigans or hijinks that occur following this publication.