Since the presidential election, Twitter has deliberately been censoring Donald Trump’s tweets that are spreading misinformation about the election. Twitter thought it necessary to intervene when Trump tried to use his platform to upend democracy. Since then, other media platforms have followed Twitter’s lead in filtering content. 

Most unexpectedly, Google has stepped in to address misleading Gmail messages sent by higher-ed institutions nationwide. After reviewing numerous colleges, Google stumbled across Kathy Murray’s recent in-person learning announcement. They were appalled by our administration’s deceptiveness and found Whitman’s emails to be prime material for their new censorship model.

Chief Privacy Officer Keith Enright informed The Wire, “We tracked the students’ data after the email was sent, and saw that they immediately contacted their friends about going back, registered for classes and tweeted about their excitement. We feel bad for them and want to make sure that they don’t get duped about their spring semester.” 

While Google typically sells its users’ data for millions of dollars, their new initiative shows a more ethical form for breaching privacy. A largely progressive shift, Google is now stalking Whitties only in the name of compassion.

Enright and the Google team will now alert students of misleading information. They will model their statements after Twitters’ warning messages:

“! This claim about election fraud is disputed” will become “! This claim about in-person learning is disputed.” 

“! Official sources may not have called the race when this was tweeted” will become “! Virus may not have fully manifested when this was emailed.”

 “! Learn how voting by mail is safe and secure” will become “! Learn how remote learning is effectively safe and secure.”

Enright wished to speak directly to Whitman students in his closing message, “Have realistic expectations about next semester, and don’t forget what happened this fall. Moving forward, we at Google want to use our stalking for good, starting with your school. Big Brother Google will always watch after you. We have your back now.”