Anthony: Establishing a meaningful reason for why your behavior, art or performance is weird matters so much more than showing us how ‘quirky’ you are.

Samarah: Everyone who frolfs kinda looks the same.

Jack: During the frigid month of February I didn’t think Ankeny could possibly get any whiter. I stand corrected.

Michelle: If you’re going to roll your pant legs up so far that we can see not only your colorful socks but also four inches of leg, you might as well wear capris.

Abby: A cry from the heart: oh my god, keep your shoes on in class!

Sam: Spotted: Kathy Murray playing Spikeball with the baseball team

Alasdair: For all their talk of political and social justice, Whitman students are more likely to watch Game of Thrones than march against injustice. After all, one actually requires work.

Emma: They’re like kombucha nice. Really white, nice on the outside, but have a strange sour flavor that isn’t so enjoyable.

Audrey: I’ll only go to a Whitman men’s basketball game once all the women’s sports teams get their own private jets too.

Alex: Whitman students are nature snobs. People always complain “oh my god I like just really miss being around real mountains,” but what are the Blues then? Fake mountains? Hills? Get over it, we already know how “outdoorsy” you are.

Emily: People from Washington really can’t handle the heat. I mean I know I’m from Arizona so I’m used to it but c’mon people…It’s 62 degrees out and you’re complaining you’re hot? Either jump in the fountain or go inside and shut up.

Cory: Getting a side of sweet potato fries with your burger in Cleveland does not count as your vegetables for the day.

Mickey: The IM Sport no one seems to talk about: casual racism.