Whitman Junior’s Mother Knows More About Internet Meme Culture Than Her Son

AQ, Absolute Unit

At 2 p.m. on Monday, Josh Jefferson had just completed his week-long social media cleanse during this bustling academic season and looked at his phone the first time since. To Josh’s unfortunate surprise, he noticed a plethora of messages from his mother on both Facebook and iMessage.

“I thought I just forgot to tell her that I was off my phone for a week, which is true, so I expected her to think I died or something.” What was sent to Josh that week from his mother was much, much worse.

Sent to Jefferson were Youtube videos titled “Vines that keep me from ending it all” and “Dog eats burrito in 1 second.” She sent old memes like Pepe, and new ones like video game characters in T-Pose.

“My stomach turned. I felt my heart in my throat. I didn’t know what to do, who to go to. Why were those video game characters standing like that?” said Jefferson.

During the interview, Jefferson whipped his phone into the street. We were both silent as we watched two cars and a semi-truck smush his phone into hundreds of pieces.