Couple’s success attributed to Disney fetish

Ann Karneus, Robot Scent

For some, childhood never stops. And while cynics may dub this as an unhealthy coping mechanism for dealing with the crushing realities of adulthood, quirky Iowa natives Cassidy and Dylan Fletcher make it work.

Their secret? Still being obsessed with all things Disney.

When I entered their modest, two story home — carefully wiping my shoes on a doormat with the words “Be Our Guest” — for an intimate interview, I was confronted with the sight of countless Mickey Mouse hats, miniature figurines of virtually every animated Disney character and a giant sign over the mantelpiece that read “Where Dreams Come True.” After a brief house tour that most notably showcased a dungeon devoted to declaring Dreamworks™ — and “Shrek”™ in particular — to be the work of the Antichrist, it was time for a snack of gazelle carcass (“Lion King” style) and some questions.

The couple, who recently spent their five year wedding anniversary at Disney World with their son Quasimodo, find nothing strange about their passionate love for the movies, merchandise and other paraphernalia associated with Disney. Dylan sumed up, “We don’t really understand why people are so weirded out about our love for Disney. I honestly feel sad for them… if folks had just a little bit more stardust in their lives I think they could see just how charmed this small world is.”

The couple could not give an exact estimation of how much money they have spent collectively on Disney, but also deemed that question highly irrelevant, as there is “no price tag on magic.”

The two first met when they were both enrolled in the six month Disney College Program, which gives people an opportunity to explore Disney as a career. “We were both working in the Peter Pan Cafe at the same time; I was a cashier and Dylan cleaned the toilets… I knew then that he was the Flinn Rider to my Rapunzel.” Although the program offers no legitimate degree, has a history of giving no benefits and is ultimately a thinly veiled source of free labor, Cassidy vehemently reiterated that there is no price on magic.

Sensing their growing irritation with my financial questions, I turn the interview over to family matters. Back into safer territory, Cassidy finally opens up: “We’re trying to conceive like crazy right now; we would absolutely love to have a little princess join our castle. I’ve already been brainstorming baby names — I know, I know, I’m kind of jumping the gun — but I think I’ve narrowed it down to Ariel, Jasmine or Pocahontas.”