Fans outraged as Stuart Little cast in live-action Ratatouille

CJ Fritz, Stale Lollipop

When news broke in June 2018 that the greatest film of all time, “Ratatouille,” was going to be remade as a live-action film, the world rejoiced. In response to the announcement, a record number of babies named Remy and Linguine have been born this March.

The live-action film was well on its way to being a slam dunk for Disney until news broke that Stuart Little had been cast to play Remy. Little — a damn MOUSE — had the audacity to accept a rat’s role, and hell has rightfully rained down on him.

“Ratatouille” super-fan George Clooney reacted to the news. “It’s one thing for a mouse to play a mouse. I can get on board with that. But playing a rat? Tone deaf,” said Clooney.

Since announcing that Little would play Remy, Disney’s stock price has plummeted from $110 per share to $.0001 per share.

This author believes that this catastrophic decision is as disastrous as the firebombing of Dresden.

Twitter has lit up with criticism of the decision, and the hashtag #LittleBigot has been trending on Twitter for three weeks and shows no signs of stopping.

In response to the backlash, Little has addressed the controversy publicly in a press conference. “I have done some terrible things in my life. I mean truly, truly despicable things. But I have never done anything as bad as this,” said Little. “I only hope that someday I can be forgiven for my wrongdoing, and that at some point my mother will begin speaking with me again,” said Little.

As Little departed from his press conference he was pelted with hardcover copies of Gusteau’s cookbook. One of the book throwers, Oprah Winfrey, said “I hope my book hit that bastard where it hurts.”

Little has since quit acting entirely, and the rat from the end of “The Departed” is now the frontrunner for the role.