Man of the hour Roger Turnble unwittingly became the center of attention earlier this week when he made the last minute decision to go to the DMV wearing his signature multi-colored Grateful Dead t-shirt. Little did he know that this zany, pit stained shirt would actually catapult him into the position of the most talked about person in the room — for the first time in his life. Witnesses there claim that Turnble’s louder than life crew neck t-shirt copulated with the oppressive beige DMV room to produce an almost Jesus-like figure against the bleak backdrop. When even mindless phone scrolling became unbearable, hopeless families and friends who had been waiting for hours to register cars, get licenses and take permit tests began playing eye-spy to pass the time — and to their delight found a Messiah in the form of Roger.

Four separate groups of DMV goers all came forward to publicly thank Turnble for his indispensable service as the focal point of many bottom of the barrel games designed to stave off boredom. Not only was he the object of entertainment in two separate eye-spy games — endearingly referred to by fans as ‘that guy in the tie-dye shirt’ — and one game of 20 questions, he was also spiritedly incorporated into a game of Fuck, Marry, Kill. The DMV attendee who came forward with this information wished to remain anonymous, and declined to comment as to which fate Roger was assigned. (Unconfirmed reports surfaced this Tuesday asserting that he was Fucked).

Some games regrettably devolved into strangers speculating disinterestedly about his sex life, hairline and work out routine. However, Turnble says he is determined not to focus on the haters, and understands that those are the unfortunate consequences of fame. For now, he’s content to focus on the burgeoning future he has ahead of him.

When interviewed by local newscasters about his fleeting yet humbling celebrity status, Turnble gushes, “It really gave me a new perspective on fame, and I’m super grateful… dead for it. Haha. Anyways I’ll keep this short but I just want to thank my shirt, and of course my fans at the DMV for all their love… and if you’re reading this right now I want you to know that you can do anything you set your mind to… for me that something was to be a guy wearing a tie-dye t-shirt at the DMV… reach for the stars.”