Olympia Mayor: “iCarly Singlehandedly Destroyed Our Tourism Industry”

Winston Weigand, Imogen Heap's Fraternal Twin

The charming old town of Olympia, since being appointed the capital of Washington in 1853, has generated over $17 per year for the state’s income–in large part due to its booming tourism industry. Out-of-state visitors often travel to Olympia in hopes of seeing the capitol building, then leave a few minutes later because there was literally nothing else to do. Occasionally, people on their way to Seattle will stop at an Olympian gas station and buy beef jerky.

However, in recent years, these considerable tourism figures have plummeted tremendously. The cause? Season 3, episode 18 of the popular Nickelodeon show iCarly. In this episode, aptly named iPsycho, an emotionally-unstable girl kidnaps the main characters and holds them hostage in her basement. Nora Dershlit–the perpetrator behind the crime–is revealed to live in Olympia, Wash.

Once saved by their obtuse but youthfully-robust friend Gibby, the iCarly gang promises to never return to Olympia, having gotten the impression that the town was filled with “crazy people.” Unsurprisingly, the airing of this Emmy award-winning episode soon caused visitation to the capital city to all but vanish.

In a statement to the press, the Olympia mayor claimed that Drake and Josh was a much better show, and warned Miranda Cosgrove to “never set one of your dirty, lyin’ feet in my town.” Days later, Cosgrove appeared on a national news program to propose a counter-argument, singing “I know, you’ll see, somehow the world will change for me, and be so wonderful.”