After six weeks of surveying the Whitman College students, staff and faculty with the Campus Climate Survey, the College’s Administration announced that they can now confidently say that most students believe global warming is real. This came as a shock to many students who felt isolated by their environmental beliefs.

Jazi Koshua, Co-Chair of the Whitman Inclusion of Diverse Environmentalism (WIDE) council, believes that these results will help students who believe in global warming feel more included. “Many students hear right-wing politicians blabbering on about how climate change isn’t anthropogenic, and the students feel dumber. It’s such a shame. I blame Drumpf.”

Koshua noted that the results of this survey are just the beginning of a much larger conversation. “WIDE will engage with a Diverse Strategic Plan to create more equitable discussions about our earth. As of now, we plan to bring climate scientists to campus for lectures, working with the Community Service House for hourly tree-planting volunteer opportunities and hiring a new counselor to specialize in psychoanalyzing climate-deniers.”

The Climate Survey found that 86 percent of students believe in climate change, and the top three sources for their beliefs were “media,” “scientific evidence” and “not being a ding-dong.” ASWC Sustainability Director Hani Dupper believes that this announcement will help environmental student activism on campus. “I told you,” said Dupper in an email to The Pioneer. “Everyone thought that I was making up those statistics about carbon dioxide and rising sea levels, but now they see the truth.”

Others on campus are still doubtful of climate change. Now retired Phillips Professor of Geology and Environmental Studies Cob Barson believes that student environmentalism is just a fad. “Students get excited when they get to make posters, hand out flyers and irritate trustees. It’s just an act of political correctness, and soon they’ll see that this ‘global warming’ thing is all a government conspiracy. I’ve been around long enough to see these phases come and go. You should survey the community again in ten years and you’ll see that I’m right.”

The Whitman College Administration plans to release the complete results of the survey in the coming weeks after thorough analysis. “We are confident that this will shift the campus climate discussion. WIDE is extremely hopeful that environmentalists will finally begin to feel comfortable voicing their opinions,” Koshua said.