Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 8
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Hella Chill Yoga Babe Seeking YOU

Dating site: YogaKamaSutra.com

Hey, you! No, not you. You!––the strapping young man firmly gripping his mug chock full of steaming green tea and carrying an organic hemp man-purse adorned in various political pins. Yeah, come here. It’s your lucky day, because you’re now the number-one candidate for a fantastic new spiritual opportunity: being my yoga partner.  I’ve searched high and low for someone who can bring something unique to the table––or should I say the mat?–– and I think that you may be the right one. Dare I say that we could even be yoga soulmates? I’m not looking for the whole take-one-yoga-class-with-me-and-get-my-hopes-up-and-then-say-it-was-just-a-one-time-fling kind of deal. No, I’m looking for the yin to my yang. But enough about you, let’s talk more about me.

My favorite word: Loincloth 😉

My fetishes: Kombucha, extraordinarily dry elbow skin and mason jars.

My celebrity crushes: The Progressive insurance lady and Optimistic Granola Girl.

My hobbies:  Watching you while you sleep, snapping every three minutes at poetry slams and shopping at Whole Foods.

My pet peeves: As I previously mentioned, I’m not looking for a yoga one-night stand. I want a stable relationship in which I can be confident that on Saturday morning you’re not over at Martha’s or Britney’s place engaging in sun salutations. Don’t even get me started on those naked yoga-practicing posers.

Still interested? You can reach me at [email protected]. Namaste.

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