Gosh, isn’t it terrible when you wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, but you can’t hit the city? Fortunately, you have something even better right at your fingertips: the unconventionally hip, endlessly happening town of Walla Walla. Once again, USA Today has named Walla Walla one of the best destinations in America, and we could not agree more. Where else can you find overpriced restaurants, overpriced boutiques, overpriced wineries and overpriced bakeries all sandwiched into one place? Nowhere.
Navigating this vastly cosmopolitan landscape can be a little overwhelming. Don’t worry though, for we have prepared an expert guide to all of the hottest places in town.
1) The Wheat Fields
Is Ankeny Field not enough for you? Are you just dying to hang out among some taller blades of grass? Well, look no further than Walla Walla’s premier wheat fields. If you’re missing the city life, the murky smog of pesticides will make you feel right at home when you rest among these patches of dirt and blonde-colored plants.
2) Marijuana Dispensaries
Speaking of grass, if you ever get bored (which you won’t because Walla Walla is too exciting), we suggest getting stoned. You can procure your supplies at any one of Walla Walla’s excellent dispensaries, a.k.a. every upperclassmen house.
3) Church
We have a lot of those here. Everyone knows that the best place to spend your Sunday hangover is among stained glass and Holy Scripture. Plus, you can atone for your sins from the previous night––that is, if you remember them.
4) Antique Shops
Whenever you have a free moment, we suggest hitting up the local antique shops. The best one is located on Boyer Avenue, directly across from the GAC. It is conveniently open every other Tuesday from 1 – 3 a.m.
5) Cold Poop
The sister store of Walla Walla’s beloved Hot Poop record store, Cold Poop is a thriving ice cream parlor located just North of Boyer Avenue. Serving up its famous chocolate soft serve in pristine porcelain bowls, Cold Poop is one of the most popular hangouts for the youth.
6) Library Strip Club
You probably haven’t heard of this unless you’ve been in the archives at 2 a.m. on the first Friday of any month. If the leather old-book smell and dust turn you on, then this is the place to be. Just remember to be courteous and keep the noise level down for those who are actually studying. (But what losers would actually be in the library at 2 a.m. on a Friday?)
