Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 5
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Spring Break Dos, Don’ts, Maybes?

Do spend all day in bed.

Do get that tattoo you’ve always wanted!

Don’t let your parents realize you have learned how to cook for yourself.

Do road trip with friends––no better time than now!

Don’t play Russian roulette with the hitmen from the local Tong.

Do make a paper hat and wear it all day.

Don’t miss out on quality time with friends.

Do see a concert of a band you’ve never heard of.

Don’t wake up in a Bugatti––regardless of newness.

Do let her go. Because you only know your lover if you do it.

Don’t let it go. The rest of us want to enjoy our warm break. Talkin’ to you, Elsa.

Don’t worry about anything all day.

Don’t waste your time on bad books.

Do paint your naked body red and writhe in the middle of a mall yelling “Fascism! Fascism!”

Do booty call!

Do go out to ice cream for breakfast! You deserve it.

Don’t flush rubidium.

Do go see a movie all by yourself.

Don’t feel guilty about doing nothing.

Do patronize all your friends from home. It must be so easy being so unaware!

Do weep softly into your drink at a seedy roadside bar. If anyone asks what’s wrong, just whisper the word “Argentina” and look away.

Do tell a stranger you love them.

Don’t tell, you know, a gross stranger you love them.

Don’t fax anyone a picture of your butt.

Do hike in the woods!

Don’t spend break in your uncle’s abandoned cabin in the woods where all those people in that cult were found dead, but it’s totally fine. Let’s not bring cell phones!

Do spend a day eating whatever you want without worrying about your weight!

Don’t burn it down.

Do strawberries!

Don’t forget about the campfire! And s’mores!

Don’t kill the Starks. It will all end in disaster. I can tell already.

Do watch “Downton Abbey.” What a great show!

Do have a dance party with your friends and chat roulette––see how people respond.

Don’t wander into the desert at night and go on a journey past Orion and deep into your own being, returning eventually to your body but never really coming back. You can never come back. You’ll always be there. Suspended in the void … Lost in emptiness…

Do punch a shark in the nose!

Do cuddle with your pets.

Don’t tell anyone I’m here. Please. Just act like you don’t see me.

Do go skinny dipping!

Do make your favorite food.

Do go fishing, but release everything you catch.

Don’t drink 70 percent vodka with a bunch of Russian whalers in the ceaseless darkness of the Arctic winter.

Do learn a new and useless skill.

Do Miyazaki marathon!

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