Oh my God, a new year, right? So it’s definitely time to get my life in order. And as the new year dictates, I made some resolutions:
- Exercise more
- Quit smoking
- Save money
- Recycle more
- Manage my stress
- Read more
- Dress better
But, honestly, who has time to do all of that? Well, since I am thoroughly dedicated to turning over a new leaf, I vowed to tackle the whole list. I am going to be a better me this year. I decided to do what I do best, and that is multitask!
So, resolution one: exercise more. Well, I could join a gym, but gyms cost a lot of money, which would defeat the purpose of resolution three. With a little creativity, I managed to check off one, three, four and seven all at the same time. Lo and behold, three cardboard boxes, last season’s Manolo pumps (honestly, I would not be caught dead in anything from last season), thirteen hair scrunchies and a ladder I stole from my neighbor and presto! my no-cost homemade exercise master!
Once I had constructed this wonder of technology, it was quite easy to tackle my other resolutions. Every day, I spent a quick three hours at my home gym while reading (this month’s book is “Moby Dick”), while wearing my sportiest Jimmy Choos and three nicotine patches. Totally easy! I have also gotten really great at giving myself manicures while running. French tips, anyone?
Well, that just left me with one more resolution to tick off of my list: managing my stress. I tried everything: meditation, yoga, therapy, and nothing worked! I honestly just couldn’t pull it together! Finally, I realized I have alcohol! Now when I am getting the least bit stressed about getting things done, I just whip myself up an appletini and I am good and relaxed!
So for all of you out there who are struggling with your New Year’s resolutions, I have two simple solutions for you: multitasking and alcohol.
