This Is a Headline (Get It?)

Elena Aragon

What’s up, y’all? Time for my favorite time of the week –– writing my article for the Backpage!

So what’s up with the Science Building, am I right?

Oh, shit! I have a Genetics final tomorrow. Damn, better get crackin’.

Anyway, it’s so cold in there. What’s up with that?

Cold, frosty beer. Mountains. Ahh, can’t wait to be home next week!!! Wintertime and blizzardly wonderland. Where dreams run free…

Oh yeah, where was I? Warm and cozy by the fire? Oh nope, I’m here sitting at home staring at a screen. What was I doing? Oh yeah, being funny.

Man, I’m already checked out. Here’s some joke about the proximity of Whitman’s campus, the small community, nature, blah blah blah.

First-years, so silly, seniors so grumpy. Ooh, I’m gonna walk through the lights in the botanic garden with some coffee and Bailey’s as soon as I’m home. Soon as I’m done with this to-do list. Gotta make sure my next semester schedule is solidified. oh yeah, who’s coming back from abroad next semester??!! Ooohhh probably a bunch of people I forgot about.

Insert funny pun about Whitman phenomena here. They changed the potatoes in Jewett breakfast?! What an outrage!

How come everyone here wears Birkenstocks and Patagonia? It’s not actual Patagonia here in Walla Walla ya know!

Is this article over yet?