5. Tong Head in Tau Kappa Epsilon. Not only does it provide a great view of the majestic TKE parking lot, but it also has awesome shower curtains instead of stall doors. That way, you can pilot and co-pilot the pooper with someone. Plus, you’re literally shitting on TKE! And let’s face it, some of those guys really deserve to be shit on…

4. The Pit. Even though most of us know girls don’t really fart and just make fluffies, turns out they actually do poop. Guys pooping here is even more hilarious, just because of the illegality and potential loud noises (especially after taco night at Jewett) of the situation.

3. Some random stump. Love “Game of Thrones”? Love just thrones in general? Your feet get to dangle off of this hawt toilet seat to make you feel like a kid again. Nothing gives me wood like shitting off of a stump.

2. Fourth floor of the library (but only after a steak and egg breakfast). No one groans like all the NERDS on the fourth floor when someone interrupts their serenity of studying with a loud one. It’s also fun to make fart noises with your mouth while you’re going for gold, just to add some extra zest.

1. Bowl on top of Fish Structure. It’s really just asking for it. I mean, what is the purpose of that thing, anyway?