Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

What does the instrument you play say about you?


You are quiet and mayhaps a tad bit shy. You are studious and have a very mild case of eczema, but in the event of a zombie apocalypse, you would undoubtedly be the last human to survive.



Even though it only takes one of you to screw in a light bulb (because the whole world revolves around you . . . ), none of the people in orbit around you mind. They think you have good fashion sense.



Usually at least a little bit hipster, you appreciate a good improbable musical adaptation written for uke. Some popular transcriptions: Mahler’s “5th Symphony for Ukulele” and Van Halen’s “Ain’t Talkin’ Bout Love”.



Difficult to grossly generalize, but I’ll give it a go: carbon-based, you have a real knack for bipedal mobility. You are a little bit self-conscious and have thought about starting a band. You think baby animals are cute.



Laid-back and chill, you are sick and tired of hearing people say, “OMG, your violin is like, huge!” but you deal with it. You will probably never be arrested, but you definitely will be pulled over a couple of times.



You are outspoken and most likely a bit show-offy. It’s difficult to build anything designed by Dr. Seuss in real life, but you are dedicated to making a scene. Interestingly, you will probably name your daughter “Constance.”


Pan Flute




Sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night screaming, “DON’T TOUCH MY BOCAL!!” You have a slight tendency towards insanity, but you call it creativity. One day you will be offered the position of “President of the World.” Accept.+

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