Wake up, check the clock. 9:50 a.m. on Nov. 7. Ahh, feels so great to have the full 10 minutes to get ready for Encounters. As I stroll the six feet it takes to get from Jewett to Olin East, I’m surprised at how few people are walking across Ankeny. I mean, come on: it’s 10 o’clock. What about those hoodrats who have 9 o’clock classes?! And dang, where’s all my fresh meat at for Encounters? Whatever. As I continue through the courtyard and into my class, I realize some fools must be tripping because a gripload of rando upperclassmen are kickin’ it in room 129, having some serious discussion. This is odd . . . what the hell is going on? Don’t these cats know it’s Encounters time?! Well, this is too weird. Imma just take a two-hour nap before lunch. Waking up, I head down to the dining hall at 11:55. What the heck!! Jewett dining hall . . . closed on a Monday!! Is it doomsday? This must be the apocalypse!!

I should really spend less time at the library, yo.