Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Vol. CLIV, Issue 10
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

The Foldening

Hector Clemons was on his way to pick up his laundry; he had stuffed it all into a dryer hours ago and forgotten about it. After realizing there was no clothing whatsoever in his room, he decided to retrieve it. As he approached the dryer, he was shocked to see his entire wardrobe folded neatly atop it.

“What the: ” he looked around for the person responsible, but the room was empty.

Staring in amazement, he slowly inspected the handiwork. It was flawless: but what did it mean?   Yes! It was a laundry fairy! Wait: no, no: a house elf! WHAT THE FISH?!

With newfound knowledge of Jewett natural history, Hector became obsessed with catching the elf in action. He took to leaping through the door of the laundry room screaming, “GOTCHYA!” and “AHA!” and “ACCIO DOBBY!”

This was   to the chagrin of the prospies being led on tour through the basement. Bewildered eyes were cast on his excited frame, and the tour guide flinched and moved on: “Over here is the free laundry room. People here are so nice that when I forget to do my laundry, I find it done for me!”

Does this fool of a tour guide not know there are more magical things about? Hector thought. This degree of altruism was only possible in one species:   The Jewett Hall Elf.

Hector never stopped believing. He knew the truth with the conviction of a child knowing its mother’s love. No mere mortal could have perpetrated the folding, and definitely not some random chick in need of a dryer who felt bad for emptying one and piling everything in a giant mess on top of the washers. Nope.

Definitely not.

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