With summer coming up, the Backpage has noticed most Whitties are starting to think about their ride situation and how they are going to get home. Given that the majority of students are seeking rides to Seattle or Portland, odds are that a good amount of Whitties will end up having to hitch rides with strangers. To prepare students for this, the Backpage has compiled a list of helpful suggestions:

• Nobody likes a backseat driver. Fender bender? Your response is to always say “wheeee!”
• Make sure you know what you’re getting into before you comment on the music. Example: They’re playing Lady Gaga. You say, “Damn, this beat is catchy!” There’s awkward silence for half an hour as you realize they were only listening to Lady Gaga to “be ironic and make a statement on the ubiquity of pussy bourgeois ideals.”
• Don’t take off your shoes. “Mi auto es tu auto” does not apply when you’re smelling up the place. The last thing you need is to get kicked out of the car at a Taco Bell in Ellensburg, only to figure out your Birks are still in the Subaru and you won’t have a backup ride for at least another six hours.
• Don’t try to hide your “occasional motion sickness”. Simply hoping “it probably won’t act up this time” isn’t good enough. You don’t want to get blacklisted from the rides listserv because you’re that kid.
• “There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and The Great Pumpkin!” ––Linus van Pelt, “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”
• “Are we there yet?” is never an acceptable question. If the car is in motion, logic dictates you are, in fact, not “there” yet.
• At least offer to share your snacks. Nobody likes a Teddy Grahams tease.
• Getting home is more important than your pussy bourgeois ideals. If the person insists you stop at Wal-Mart for lunch, put on a smile and get out of the car. Yakima is no place to decide you can’t support “The Machine.”
• Please, when you finally arrive at your destination, keep in mind that “kthxbai” does not work as a real-life substitute for “thanks so much”. 4realz.