“Obviously, there is no dating scene at Whitman,” said senior Kyle Martz. For Martz and other GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered) students on campus, trying to date within the group is a frustrating experience.
Martz believes that in order to have dating among the GLBT students, there must actually be a GLBT community to date in. “We have same-sex couples on campus, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we have a queer community . . . . The problem is that people don’t date if they don’t know each other. We have a lot of queers here who don’t know how to deal with queer culture since they haven’t been exposed to it.”
“It’s indicative of Whitman’s recruiting process. We recruit uptight, tight-ass overachievers that have no way of dealing with themselves or each other [in respect to their sexuality],” said Martz. He later added in an e-mail that the lack of “available models” is one reason as to why GLBT students are unprepared for serious relationships once they come to Whitman, since there is not a queer community.
In contrast to Martz, other GLBT students are looking for a community that is more casual.
“What I want to say is that there is no sex scene,” said sophomore Marcos*. “With people like me, we just meet, bend over, and do the deed.” When Marcos arrived on the Whitman campus, he was generally dissatisfied with the gay men on campus who were looking for a serious relationship.
Instead of dealing with the difficulties of a serious relationship on campus, Marcos retreated to the Internet, striking up virtual relationships on the Web sites Adam4Adam and Gay.com.
“I’m so busy with school, and I just don’t want to deal with people. Virtual relationships are easier because they’re more accessible. You can log on and fuck with people,” Marcos said.
Martz also found it easier to delve into casual relationships rather than serious relationships before he found his current boyfriend. “Here at Whitman, you find that it’s just easier to get drunk at parties, find someone and then have sex. That’s just the nature of the party atmosphere and sexual culture at Whitman in general, which also goes for the queer contingent on campus.”
Freshman Martin* explained via e-mail that the size and location of the campus factored into the small GLBT presence at Whitman. “The thought of dating and community had not occurred to me while applying to colleges, as I still wasn’t sure whether to remain in closet or not. If it had factored in, as I’m sure it does with most GLBT applicants, size and proximity to a city would create a much stronger pull. It’s kind of lonely out here, but the students here are amazing even if the dating pool is almost non-existent.”
Martin takes a cautious approach when it comes to dating on campus. “I’ve met lots of people I’m interested in, but I don’t approach, or for that matter, even allow myself to get too interested, unless I know they are gay. I just generally don’t enjoy the feeling of liking guys that aren’t biologically . . . capable of liking me back. I am actually pretty ‘out’ right now, most people who know me know that I’m gay, but I don’t feel the need to announce [it] to the world.”
Despite the perception that the GLBT community is small, some students are working to help make it more accessible. The Queer Beer Bonanza, hosted behind Anderson Hall in The Hospital, gathers most of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered students on campus for drinks and dancing.
“Parties like Queer Beer helped the most in making me realize that gays do exist on campus,” said Martin.
*Names have been changed to protect the identities of those in the article.
