Please Note: This Senior Sex Survey was conducted as the informal conclusion to the sex surveys we took freshmen year.   Approximately 40 percent of the senior class participated in this survey.

Whitman College has been good to its students, or, more accurately, Whitman students have been good to each other.   Almost three-quarters of the senior class came to college as virgins. Between sparknoting Core class and writing theses, 71 percent of those females and 77 percent of those males have lost their virginity.

Senior females were estimated by a majority of their senior classmates to have had two sexual partners, while senior males were estimated to have had three.   Looking at the straight-up mean averages, senior females have had 2.86 sexual partners, 0.74 of those were prior to college, 1.49 were fellow Whitties, and 0.94 were “one-night-stands.” Alternatively, the average senior male has had 4.26 sexual partners, 1.21 before college, 2.26 were fellow Whitties, and 1.38 were “one-night-stands.”

Whitman seniors don’t mind if their significant others have had a little more sexual experience, but most are freaked out (potentially deterring the pursuit of a relationship or hook-up) by 6-9 partners (32%), followed by 10 or more partners (26%), and 3-5 partners (11%).

Seniors get it up on Mem’s fire escape, go down in the library, work it out in the gyms, and let loose all over campus, mostly outside.   The canoe in the library remains unchartered territory; remember, it’s worth like 12 points.

Future classes of Whitman students will have to contend with the lack of neck-high foam and the overpopulation of females.   Granted, the inevitable addition of more tacky sculptures will help camouflage outdoor pursuits.   Missionaries, please stay on top of safety, report all lost V-cards to the lost and found listserv, and don’t do it like the ducks.