Whitman Wire

This week in politics

Jeffrey Gustaveson, Humor Writer

December 1, 2016

--Fidel Castro figures Trump Presidency as good a time as any to peace out --Reince Priebus revokes President-elect Trump’s Twitter access until he finishes last bite of steak --Nation’s liberals start believing in Santa for lack of better option --Report: Tryptophan to be used in Middle East...

This week in the news

Jeffrey Gustaveson, Staff Writer

September 8, 2016

-Post-80s dance Prentiss brunch the surest sign yet that the apocalypse is nigh -RA spends a heartbreaking amount of time making bathroom “Crush Board” poster that will be covered in phallic imagery within the week -Princeton Review ranks Whitman #1 with Birkenstock-to-Student ratio of 3:1 -Mik...

This Week In Politics

Jeffrey Gustaveson, staff writer

February 18, 2016

--Nation surprised when reminded that Supreme Court is still a thing --Ted Cruz announces plans to nominate himself to Supreme Court if elected --Anonymous source: Jeb Bush apparently still running for president   --Sanders campaign targets key arsonist demographic with new “Feel the Bern” ...

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