When I discovered Whitman College was ranked first in economic homogeneity out of 91 excellent schools, I was so overcome with elation that I almost spilled cognac all over my ocelot fur robe (that’s 100 percent pure Indonesian ocelot, none of that shit from the Philippines). After hearing the good news, naturally I called my longtime rival in the international yacht derby, close personal friend and Whitman Board of Trustees member John Stanton.