Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Vol. CLV, Issue 4
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire
Whitman news since 1896

Whitman Wire

Emmett Schink, Humor Writer

Emmett Schink (he/him)is a junior History major. He started working at the Wire as a humor writer in 2024. Emmett’s excited to figure.

All content by Emmett Schink
We must imagine Sisyphus happy…., listening to Christmas music in November

We must imagine Sisyphus happy…., listening to Christmas music in November

Emmett Schink, stealing presents with my dog
November 14, 2024
Do they really love you or are they aliens trying to figure out the concept of love?

Do they really love you or are they aliens trying to figure out the concept of love?

Emmett Schink, in love with an Alien?
November 7, 2024
Grandparents show up for Rocky Horror show and say “Too tame too lame”

Grandparents show up for Rocky Horror show and say “Too tame too lame”

Emmett Schink, dressing up as Sophocles for Halloween
October 31, 2024
My 4 Day was Harder than Yours

My 4 Day was Harder than Yours

Emmett Schink, kayaking down some sick rapids with my birks on
October 24, 2024
Carrier Pigeons are coming back in a big way

Carrier Pigeons are coming back in a big way

Emmett Schink, three pigeons in a suit
October 10, 2024
Stop making AI lie for you, do it yourself.

Stop making AI lie for you, do it yourself.

Emmett Schink, Advanced AI learning model
October 3, 2024
RA’s warns against mega beds as leprosy runs amok through campus

RA’s warns against mega beds as leprosy runs amok through campus

Emmett Schink, currently being excommunicated
September 19, 2024
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