Yes, the rumors are true. Tiger Woods did smoke crystal meth with Andre Agassi the night he drove his car into a fire hydrant: just kidding, but seriously, Tiger really screwed up this time. The most recognized athlete in the world was even ridiculed on the latest episode of “Saturday Night Live,” affirming his moronic status. In the skit, Kenan Thompson and host Blake Lively play Woods and his Swedish bombshell wife, Elin Nordegren, mocking Woods’ inability to exercise the most vital function to marriage: lying.
The recent events that have solidified everyone’s hunch that Woods is a self-absorbed jerk all trace back to his ‘one-vehicle accident’ at 2:25 a.m. on Nov. 27. Initial media reports stated that Woods had mysteriously crashed his SUV near his Florida home, and after hearing the noise from the crash, Nordegren had smashed out his back windshield with a golf club to ‘courageously’ rescue him. Headlines read that alcohol was not involved and Woods was treated at a local hospital for minor injuries including cuts on his lips. Sounds perfectly logical, right?
The fact that Tiger Woods refused to make any public statements about the incident just screamed scandal. That’s like letting someone guess what you got them for their birthday and then refusing to answer yes or no when they guess right; it’s a dead giveaway. But more importantly, when you are the most recognized athlete in the world, as much privacy as you would like to enjoy just is not a realistic possibility. Once you accept hundreds of millions of dollars in endorsements, you subject yourself to the scrutiny of the public. Currently, there is no word on what actually happened. An unnamed witness, presumably his wife Elin, has stated that Tiger did consume alcohol earlier in the day of the accident, and had prescriptions for Ambien and Vicodin, but the truth is still unclear.
Even before this latest scandal, there were plenty of reasons to suspect Woods was not the Mother Teresa of professional sports. He is notorious for regularly screaming profanities and throwing or smashing golf clubs. Some famous Tiger episodes that come to mind are: The time that he harassed a photographer for taking a shot during his backswing at the Doral Open a couple years back, shouting, “The next time a photographer shoots a f****** picture on my backswing I’m going to break his f****** neck.” Or the time at this year’s Australian Masters when Tiger threw his club into the crowd at the 13th hole after a poor drive. This kind of behavior is not only unacceptable because Tiger Woods is the role model for countless young golfers around the world, but also because in no other professional sport is this kind of behavior tolerated. If Rasheed Wallace blinks the wrong way on a basketball court he gets ejected and fined thousands of dollars by the NBA. Imagine if he threw a ball into the crowd.
Now, Tiger finds himself in an admittedly unfortunate predicament, yet one he deserves. In the statement he issued on his Web site, he wrote, “I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart,” referring to a 31-month-long affair with Los Angeles cocktail waitress, Jamie Grubbs. His wife has since left him and surely his relationship with his two young children will be tattered. The question is, will Tiger Woods learn something from this mess, or will he continue acting as the young billionaire athlete that he is, and maybe rightly so? Either way, the man can hit a little white ball way better than anyone else, so he will be on the international radar regardless. Most likely, only age and maturity will allow him to shape up his personal life.
