I have this beautiful picture taken from the newspaper hanging on my wall of a dark-haired, intense-looking woman with a flame in her stomach. It’s actually a painting, not a photograph. This woman has unruly hair, a prominent collarbone and a darker line tracing her breast and hips than any other line in the painting. And then there is this flame. Over the flame is a blank white square, covering as much of it as possible, but not all. The woman in this painting has dark red lips, and she looks like she will jump your bones or else kill you and like it.
This is because no one wants her to have sex, and she wants to have it. She’s just getting a little murderous, is all.
Believe it or not, folks, the federal government of our dear US of A wants men to have lots of sex. It wants old men and young men and healthy men and sick men to have sex. It wants the sex to be good. Most of all, the government is willing to put its money where its mouth is. In the next decade, two billion dollars will go towards research and development of impotency drugs for men. I will write that again.
Over the next 10 years, 2,000,000,000.00 taxpayer dollars will go towards harder penises everywhere, for everyone. If you have a penis, the government wants you to use it. Thousands of people who have hard-earned (no pun intended) science degrees go to the lab every day and try to figure out how men can enjoy sex more.
As usual, this got me to thinkin’ about the ladies.
Ain’t no two billion nothin’ going towards keeping women happy in the sack. The government is paying for women to not have babies. The president et al. wants to see men ejaculate happily at all ages and wants to be sure the women are prepared to take responsibility for the situation. By responsibility I clearly mean not getting pregnant from all this happy happy semen and if you do you better just have the baby ’cause you KNOW abortion is not an option.
When Viagra was released in 1998, it immediately got picked up by employer health plans and is entirely covered by most insurance companies.
Birth control has been around in marketable form for more than 50 years. If you count the poisonings women gave themselves in hopes of keeping off a pregnancy, it’s been around for more than one hundred years.
Insurance companies hate birth control.
BC is labeled by most as a lifestyle drug, as is, for example, AZT. You are a woman, you’re meant to get pregnant when you have sex. You are a gay man or a heroin addict, you’re meant to get AIDS. You chose the lifestyle. Deal with it.
Now maybe you see why my painting lady wants to kill somebody. Or else fuck said somebody’s brains out. In the eyes of the powers that be, those are both bad, bad things. Done only by bad, bad girls. She is clearly one of those.
I have this painting on my wall because the patch does not entirely cover the flame. I have it because no matter what taxes and old white guys say, there is not a damn thing I will ever let cover mine.
Ned Schaumberg • Oct 8, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Katie-
I admit it, it does seem unfair that so much money is being spent just to keep men hard way longer than their bodies seem to want them to be. But, to argue that the government isn’t spending 2,000,000,000 to keep women happy in the sack is incorrect. Now, I’m no reproductive scientist, but last time I checked, it’s a lot easier for a woman to have sex with a man whose penis is erect than one that is flaccid. So, every dollar spent on ED research helps women like it helps men, especially considering that 55 year-old men everywhere are not poppin’ a Viagra just to jack off for a couple hours. Impotence is a major area of research because every monogamous man with ED ruins the sex lives of two individuals, that embarassed man and the woman with a flame who lies next to him, just hoping he could get hard so she could fuck his brains out.
I agree that the attitude our society takes toward BC is wrong and I agree that it is putting unfair pressure and stress on women whenever they have to think about having sex. But, that is an entirely separate issue than whether or not millions of American couples can have sex in the first place. In my opinion, the government is doing a good thing in allowing couples everywhere to express their love intimately; now we need to make sure that experience is a happy relaxing one for both people, whatever their gender.
P.S. – Ironically enough, not encouraging Birth Control while encouraging impotency drugs does benefit one group of society: gay men everywhere. The same men who won’t allow gay men to marry is still ensuring that they can keep having unmarried sex late into their lives.
P.P.S. – Don’t post this in the Pio, please, I agree with your point about birth control, so the whole thing is kind of silly anyway.