I do not know about you, but when I am in any kind of sexual situation I am always at least five percent thinking about how much I hope I don’t pee.

I know you’re supposed to pee before and after sex. And I do. I promise. Every time. But this fact does not prevent me in the slightest from having my fear.

So there it is. Unexpected urination. My own personal worst-case scenario. But, as a friend of mine says, “Worse things happen at sea.” Now, I do not know what that means. But it applies here, because there are much worse things happening to vaginas worldwide than peeing during sex. I am here to tell you about them.

I sincerely believe it is much harder out here for a vagina than it is for a pimp. There are very few places in the world where having female genitalia is helpful. American women in general tend to think they are uber-liberated because they are not Somalian and don’t have people attacking their private parts with knives. American women in general are WRONG. We are being attacked on paper and in politics just as violently as any North African woman getting her clitoris removed.

You may take issue with this statement, but here’s what I think. We are Americans living in this country and we’ve got to get ANGRY about SOMETHING. If I went through my days thinking “my vagina is soooo free. It can pee whenever it wants, and my clitoris is entirely intact. I have no problem with the world,” then absolutely nothing would be changed about the battle being mounted by the far right to stop me from being in control of my body. I have to believe this is the worst-case scenario. Women (and MEN, god damnit!!) need to wake up in the morning enraged about the encroachment upon their sexual rights and then ACT on it. Look, you guys. I just used caps lock a lot in that paragraph. What does that mean? It means you should freaking listen to me.

In bullet point form, here is a list of things you should be angry about. Here is why it’s hard out here for a vag.

• I was serious about Somalia. Female Genital Mutilation is real and terrible and it should piss you. The fuck. Off. I wrote a paper about FGM for a feminist class I took in South Africa. I read many books and learned many horrific things that made my hair curl. What you can do: Ask hospitals in your area if they have special care for women who have been mutilated. Sensitivity to refugees and their specific needs could not be MORE essential, in medical settings especially.

• The Supreme Court is being BOMBARDED with cases that put a woman’s right to choose in danger. We cannot assume they will keep making the right decision. Google “anti-abortion legislation” to learn about the sorts of cases they’re hearing. An example is the fight to ban “partial-birth abortion,” which is deceptively named and means any abortion that takes place after 12 weeks. It does not take into account potential dangers to women’s health if they carry a pregnancy to term. ACTION: check out now.org for news and donate to organizations that fight for women’s bodies everywhere.

• In South Dakota there is ONE abortion clinic. ONE. In the whole state. Women cannot get abortions unless they can prove their lives are in danger because they are pregnant. SOUTH DAKOTA HAS MADE ABORTION ILLEGAL. Get off your ASS: Angry letters to South Dakota legislators. Money to the ONE clinic. Get in your car and road trip to South Dakota. Throw eggs at a Republican. Get it? Eggs?? But this is serious. This is the Worst Case Scenario. Head to Ground Zero and rouse some rabbles. GO.