Delta Gamma: Last Saturday the DGs raked leaves for approximately 15 houses, then had a chapter-wide bowling outing before hosting their fall formal at the Underground. Furthermore, the chapter would like to welcome their new officers and are excited for Sharon Kaufman-Osborne’s talk on relationships, scheduled for Dec. 2, with the TKEs.
Kappa Alpha Theta: The Thetas had a productive leaf raking session with the increasingly hirsute Phis on Saturday and a sisterhood dinner that evening. Furthermore, the chapter is in the process of transitioning officers.
Kappa Kappa Gamma: Mr. Whitman was an unprecedented success, raising over $21,000. Thanks to all the contestants for their hard work as well as to everyone who contributed. Lastly, congratulations to the chapter’s new officer corps.
Beta Theta Pi: Last week the house hosted Foreign Language and Literatures Professor Nohemy Solorzano-Thompson who lectured on gender. Furthermore, the Betas –– never ones to rush into anything –– are conducting a two-week test run for Beta Buddies. Lastly, the Betas are really enjoying smoking cigarettes outside the library late at night. According to one member, “People seemed to have really taken to it. I guess faux-hipster is like, I dunno, the new hipster. I mean fuck.”
Phi Delta Theta: Last week the Phis had a great scholarship talk regarding economic crises, and really enjoyed leaf raking with the Thetas. Furthermore, the house had an open chapter for pledges, the theme: “Having Money, Buying Friends: A Conversation in Social Practicalities.”
Sigma Chi: Following the indisputably raucous success of their incredibly premature Christmas party, the Sigs hosted an equally preemptive Thanksgiving Dinner on Wednesday. Also, and not surprisingly, the house is really really excited about break.
Tau Kappa Epsilon: Last weekend the TKEs held officer elections, as well as volunteered with Habitat for Humanity. Furthermore, in the coming weeks the house is looking forward to being shirtless around each other, smirking, and most likely watching season three of Entourage in its entirety.
